Someone Can't Spell Witch House

I tried something new yesterday, a one pound burger. I didn't eat it all, so didn't get my picture taken. I managed to eat just over half of it though, which was more than I thought I would put down. Maybe I could have ate more. I wasn't feeling stuffed when I decided to stop, but I was full. Instead of a picture, I walked out with my box of shame. That is alright though, I did better than expected. My adventure into the hamburger world aside, I did manage to get my review for Underworld: Awakening done. I was going to review a different movie for here, but my neighbors still have it, so I went with the next movie in my stack instead. That movie happened to be Witchouse (1999), which I didn't know has at least two sequels.

Elizabeth (Ashley McKinney) has invited a group of friends over to her house on Mayday. Elizabeth eventually thanks her friends for coming on this day, which is a special day for her. Three hundred years ago to the day, Litlith was burned at the stake after being accused of being a witch. As it turns out, Elizabeth is a descendant of Lilith. Elizabeth holds a seance in order to try and get in touch with Lilith (Ariauna Albright). Things don't really go as planed when one of the friends breaks away after having a vision of the burning. They soon learn though that Lilith is back and is willing to kill all of Elizabeth's friends, but why?

I'm going to spoil this one a little bit, so if you don't want to know why Lilith is killing people, then you might not want to read any further. The reason Lilith is killing off all of Elizabeth's "friends" is because they are all direct descendants of the people that killed her. Considering that this is the whole plot point in which the movie revolves around, I just have a really hard time believing that what was left of Lilith's family kept track of the families of the people that killed her in hopes of possibly getting revenge at some point over a three hundred year period. I can easily see a descendant not giving a shit and not passing it on to the next generation. So I didn't find the story for this movie to be all that great, but I was willing to forgive it if there was something else to look forward to. Released by Full Moon Features, which has always been hit and miss, Witchouse was directed by David DeCoteau. The opening sequence was a little confusing, with two people being killed rather quickly. I could tell that maybe things wouldn't go well when the two people come in, look around for a bit, and then start to make out and undress in the basement. I know I do this all the time. Friend doesn't appear to be home, so I will make my own fun then.

I think the biggest problem Witchouse has is that it can't decide if it wants to try and be funny or not. I didn't find anything funny in the film, but there are scenes that lean towards comedy, but don't go the extra mile in order to be. Like one person gets their head knocked off, not too bad of an effect, but then I noticed that the skin on what was left of the neck was cut in triangle fashion. Not something I was expecting to see after getting a head knocked off, so it could have been funny. The visual alone wasn't enough to make it funny though. I wouldn't go as far as saying that scene was gory either, at least not to me. It wasn't a bad effect, just not gory at all since there was no blood to go with it, as one would expect.

The acting was a mixed bag. I didn't mind some of the actors, while I couldn't really stand others. Ashley McKinney was okay as half of the bad guy duo. Some found her acting to be bland, and I can get that. I just felt that compared to others, I didn't think she did that bad with it. Her explanation speech goes on way, way to long though, which isn't her fault. Dave Oren Ward, who passed away the same year Witchouse was released, was another character that annoyed others. I liked him in some scenes but not in others. The person that I didn't care for was Marissa Tait. I just didn't find the tough girl act very convincing. You can also find Matt Raftery, Monica Serene Garnich, Brooke Mueller, Dane Northcutt, Kimberly Pullis, Jason Faunt and Ryan Scott Greene.

Witchouse is one of those films that I would still have picked apart the plot even if the rest of the film had been better. I'm sure I would have liked it better than I did if it had been though. Not saying I hated this one, but I didn't care for it either. Maybe I will give the sequels a chance at some point, as I hear the third movie isn't half bad. Witchouse may not be a bad film to watch late at night when nothing else is really on, but I wouldn't suggest anyone going out to find it.
2 out of 5 The makeup for the witch could have been a whole lot better