Seeing Evil

I'm sure everyone has watched "professional wrestling" at some point in their life. I admit that I have on and off. I have never taken it very seriously though, I tend to get a laugh out of it if nothing else. If I can't find anything else to watch, which usually I can, and I happen on it then I will watch it for a little while. When the WWE decided to produce films that feature their star wrestlers, I could understand that. Wrestling shows do account for a big rating spike for the TV stations that air the programs. Hopefully you will take that fan base, and get them to sit through a movie that has their favorite wrestler in it. As far as I know, See No Evil (2006) has been the only horror movie produced by WWE. Since it was time to watch something out of my own collection, this is what I decided on.

See No Evil begins with two cops pulling up a house where loud music is coming from. They knock and ask if there is anything wrong. When the door swings open, they draw their guns and head inside. They find a woman who no longer has her eyes. Before making sure there is no one else around, they start talking to the woman. When one officer goes into the next room, he meets a very large man with an ax. He kills that officer and manages to chop off the arm of the other officer before being shot in the head himself. The killer seemingly manages to get away. Four years later, Officer Frank Williams (Steven Vidler) now works with troubled teenagers at a detention center. A few of the guys are able to go to a hotel to help in its clean up as part of a community service type deal. They all meet up with some women who got the same deal, and they all head to the hotel. Little do they know that Jacob (Glenn Jacobs), the killer from four years earlier, is waiting somewhere in the hotel.

I remember when See No Evil was getting ready to be released for its theater run. I didn't go see it at them, mainly because I wasn't going to very many movies at the theater. Plus I didn't think it looked like something I just had to see at the theater. Having watched it on DVD now, I don't think I would have the theater completely disappointed, but I am glad I waited to watch it on DVD. Even though I didn't add my money to the pot, it still managed to make over $15 million at the box office. With a reported budget of $8 million, it did make a profit. See No Evil gave me a complaint that I have never had before. I am actually surprised that I am complaining about it, but it felt to me that it had almost too fast of a pace to it. It starts off slow enough, with us getting a slight background for each character. We get their name, and what they did wrong to land them at the detention center. You will need to read quick though, as it doesn't stay up on screen for very long. Even though character development is on the thin side, at least they made an effort at it. That is more than I can say for some horror movies. Once they get passed this stage of the film, it felt like the teens were getting knocked off a little too quickly. I was starting to wonder if the run time was printed wrong, teens were disappearing that quickly. Two teens are helped, and manage to get away from the killer, but they aren't seen again for what felt like a very long time. It would have been nice if they had updated what was happening to them a couple of times at least before they come back into the story again. Maybe they wanted us to think something bad had happened to them, but I just wondered when they would show up again.

I have watched some very gory films, and this wasn't one of them. It had its moments, but I thought maybe it could have used some more. Not to say that it didn't have some interesting deaths happening though. Jacob likes to use a big hook with a long chain attached to it as his main weapon it seems. My favorites though had to do with death by dog, and a death by cell phone. I thought those were pretty cool. The acting wasn't all that bad either. Glenn Jacobs (also known as Kane) does a good job of looking like a giant killer. He is around 7 foot tall, and of course a very big guy since he is a wrestler. Outside of looking mean, they didn't give him much of a chance to really act though. He only has a handful of lines to say, which I don't think goes beyond four words at a time. You can also find Christina Vidal, Michael J. Pagan, Samantha Noble, Cecily Polson, Luke Pegler, Rachael Taylor, Penny McNamee, Craig Horner, Mikhael Wilder, and Tiffany Lamb.

One thing that did surprise me a little bit was that something happens to the person who is sort of set up to be the hero of the story. I wasn't really expecting that, so it was a nice little surprise. They try to slow down the killings by showing us a series of flashbacks that is supposed to help explain why Jacob is like he is. Not going to explain it all, but lets say that his mother teaches him that the eyes are the window to a person's soul. And of course everyone sins except for them, while forgetting that murdering someone is also a sin. So Jacob has a collection of eyeballs. They looked pretty intact considering he uses his fingernails to dig them out. In the end I didn't fall in love with See No Evil, but at the same time it wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I expected nothing from it going in. Even though it has its share of problems, I was surprised by some things and it had some nice deaths. I've watched much, much worse than this. Give it a shot sometime, just don't go in expecting a great film.
3 out of 5 Need my eyes so I can watch more movies

Beware Of Little Girls In Red

After paying a bill, I sat down to watch a movie I have had from Netflix for over a month now. I used to get five movies at a time from them, but cut it back to three since I wasn't watching movies very quickly. It seems even at three movies I'm still not watching them quickly enough. Of course I am splitting time with Instant Watch movies, and I did push this one back in favor of the two Twilight movies, so I guess I can't complain too much. I have also been writing a little more often over at Top Horror Movies Club. I was trying to get one review in a week there, but managed to fall behind. To make up for that, I decided to write there a little more often for awhile at least. In case you haven't checked them out yet, I did write reviews for The Descent: Part 2, and The House Of The Devil, so be sure to check them out! For today though, I watched Red Riding Hood (2003).

When Jennifer's father was killed, her mom took her to Rome to live. Jennifer (Susanna Satta) doesn't think too highly of her mother though, who runs off with her boyfriend. This leaves Jennifer to fend for herself at the age of twelve, but she doesn't seem to mind that at all. Then one day Rose (Kathleen Archebald), Jennifer's grandmother, comes in order to take Jennifer back to America with her. Jennifer isn't ready to leave though. In fact, if she gets her way, she will get to stay there and be in control of her own life. Jennifer feels she is falling in love with her tutor (Roberto Purvis), who is a handsome but is an older man. She also goes out in the city with her best friend George. Between the two of them they manage to kill people who Jennifer feels are bad people. Who is George though? According to Jennifer he is her dog she had when she was younger all grown up now, but dogs don't walk on two legs.

The way Red Riding Hood started out, I wasn't so sure if this was a movie I was going to like. It starts off with some guy getting shot in the head at point blank range. He still manages to stand for a little longer though. Then it cuts to Rome where we get a voice over by Jennifer explaining that was her dad. While she is talking, we see some guy snatch a purse only to get hit by a moving truck a little later. So after a somewhat bad start, and a very bad gun shot effect, I settled in hoping it would get better. It did get better, but it didn't at the same time. I know that sound weird, but it is true. There are very few people that claim this is a great movie. Most that have watched it either liked it, or hated it. It would seem people are split about a lot of things on this movie. Besides the movie itself, you will either like/hate the acting and the ending of the film. I happened to really like Jennifer. Even though they gave her way too much to say, I still liked the character a lot. She reminded me a little bit of myself at that age. Not completely though, since I never went out murdering people with my friend George. Jennifer knows what she wants, and has learned to take care of herself. I could be very hard headed (still am at times) and didn't always like it when someone would go against my ideas. Maybe that is why I liked Red Riding Hood a little more than others, since I could relate some to the main character.

I thought the acting was the key thing here. Susanna Satta gave her character a lot of personality. Even thought I liked her acting over all, I do agree with those that hated her acting in a much smaller degree. There are scenes where either she tries to hard, or maybe director Giacomo Cimini might have been pushing for more. There are also scenes that she managed to really pull me into her character as well. I think the biggest problem was that the writers simply gave her too much to say at times. She does talk a lot. Even though this has been her only movie credit so far, I do hope she decides to try her hand at acting again. Kathleen  Archebald also did a wonderful job. Many knock her character because she didn't confront her granddaughter enough. My thoughts on that is maybe she did, but either wasn't seen in the film (lots of time would pass between some scenes so plenty of time to do it there) or maybe it was just cut from the film. What Kathleen does in the movie shows she is a trooper though, as I am sure it wasn't easy for her at times.

The effects are a mixed bad. There are some that look very good, and others not so good at all. We get the guy shot in the head. A knife through the chest. A hand and some legs get cut off as well. And my favorite had to do with a bottle. It could be very gory at times, which really the only time it is a horror movie. Red Riding Hood is one of those movies I have trouble calling a horror movie really. People do get killed, and very bloody deaths at times as well, but it was it really a horror film? The twist in the movie can be seen from a mile away. It doesn't take long at all to figure out what the twist is going to be. The story manages to come very close to being boring at times. And...well, not everything always makes sense. Those are the weak points, and I understand how it can be enough for people to give up and decide they don't like this one.

Despite the problems, Red Riding Hood is a movie that I liked just enough. Susanna Satta is charming and cute, but can turn mean at the drop of a hat. Have to like that in a girl. She may not be in the same league as say Samara, but I still think she makes one of the better evil kids out there. This isn't a movie for everyone, but I found it to be a nice low budget movie in the end. Red Riding Hood is an Italian movie, and you can also see that in it as well. It has a little bit of a giallo mixed in with it. I think you should give this movie a shot. I know sometimes it is easier to get through a movie when you know the problems ahead of time. If you take the time to think out the ending, remembering what you have learned along the way, I think you will be able to sort it out and understand what the film makers were trying to do. Yes it ends on a very weird note, but don't let the drag the whole movie down.
3 out of 5 Wishing I could hang out with Jennifer and George

Painting With Blood

Have you ever watched a movie and at some point you wonder why you are sticking with it? I'm sure everyone has. Most of the time I use the excuse that I am watching it in order to review it, and it wouldn't be fair to shut it off somewhere in the middle. I know I could always not review it, but I tend to be thick headed like that. A Brush With Death (2007) was like that in some ways for me. I could have been watching some TV shows that I had recorded, I'm behind once again. Big surprise there, I know. I'm a little ticked though, since the only two new series I decided to give a chance have both been canceled on me. Flashforward is one I didn't really think would make it into a second season, but hoped it would. Happy Town is a show I have only watched the pilot episode of so far, but is still getting the ax after only three episodes.

In A Brush With Death, five friends are getting together for a weekend of fun out in the middle of nowhere. Why you would have fun out in the middle of nowhere is a mystery to me, but hey, it isn't my vacation. So these five girls meet up and head out to one of the girl's relatives house. He is a lawyer so it is a very nice house with a pool, but that seems to be the extent of it. On their way in they happen to run out of gas. Walter (Ted Esquivel) and Caleb (Max Taylor) show up in order to help. Caleb seems like a nice enough guy, but stutters a lot. Walter on the other hand seems to like to stick his tongue out at the girls and licks his lips a lot. We find out in a flashback that Walter isn't a very nice person, and Caleb does help him but I think mostly because he is afraid of Walter. Anyway, the girls get going again and pass an old house. That night Ranken (Nicholls Melancon) drops by, saying that he is a neighbor of sorts. He tells the girls that a murder happened at that old house many years ago, and many say it is haunted now. The girls decide they will spend the night there the next night, but they don't find any ghosts. Just some guy that drains blood from people and uses it to paint. Exciting, no?

The synopsis on Netflix actually makes it sound better: A group of cheerleaders makes the unfortunate decision to spend the night in an abandoned farmhouse. Once they've settled in, the girls discover the creepy cottage is haunted by a dead boy who killed his brother four decades earlier, drained his blood and used it to paint a portrait of his murdered sibling. I'm here to tell you that doesn't happen. It isn't haunted, and there isn't a dead boy doing the haunting. In fact, the movie never makes mention of the girls being cheerleaders either. The girls never say anything about it as well, so I don't know if they were or not. In the end it doesn't matter, but why throw that out there if it isn't in the movie anywhere? Truthfully though, not knowing if the girls are cheerleaders are not is the least of this movies problems. The plot wanders all over the place before we really even know what the plot is supposed to be. In the first half hour we already get two flashbacks and a dream sequence. In the end there are five flashbacks and two dream sequences. Considering that some, or maybe all of them, didn't really have anything to do with the plot itself, I guess they were there for padding reasons. At least one flashback, about a couple of guys that disappeared at the old house, should never have been filmed. All it showed was the two guys going up the house, looking into a window, and going into the house. That was it. Since this was a story being told to the girls, it would have worked better as just that instead of filming a flashback sequence for it.

We barely get to know some of the girls character names in this movie. One girl goes off on her morning jog, or so the other girls say, and never comes back. This is brought up by some of the girls, but no one seems overly worried about it at all. I never did really figure out what happened to that girl. They have to explain to Ranken how to play "Truth Or Dare" and I thought everyone knew that game. You may not have played it, but I thought at least everyone had a working knowledge of how it was played. In what I assumed was an attempt at character development, we get a one sided phone conversation about how the person on the other side never treated her right and so on. No idea who she was talking to, or why it was even in the movie since it shows up so late. The only reason I kept watching was in order to find out who the killer was going to end up being. I don't know why I cared to be honest. I guess I just wanted to see if I was right. As it turns out, the killer ends up being a character that we had yet to even have met. Well...that isn't completely true, we do see him in flashbacks, but have no idea what he looks like today.

With no special effects, outside of some blood in tubes and jars filled with blood, it made for a boring movie in that regard. Add on top of that so very boring acting, and a very stupid story, A Brush With Death manages to fail pretty badly. I didn't think everyone was a bad actor though. Max Taylor does a pretty good job with what he is given. The girls (Seanna McDonald, Missy Sturges, Lily Vu, Nikki Cordell, and Ali Thurlow) can be hard to judge since at least a couple of them barely have any lines to say. They are at least nice to look at. I don't need nudity in my horror movies, but with five girls having fun and swimming a lot, I figured there would be at least a quick shot of nudity. I was wrong again.

I have to credit to director Brad Wiebe on getting a movie filmed and put out there. That is more than I will ever do, even though I have no desire to actually do that. I am sure that I would be proud of my movie, no matter how bad or good it turned out. I'm sure it isn't easy in the slightest to make a movie, so credit is always due for that reason. One thing I really wish a lot of film makers would watch more carefully is the sound. There are scenes where you can hear one person, with the sound almost too loud, but another person in the same scene can barely be heard at all. There is also some voice overs where it is clear none of the people in the scene are actually talking. I hate to give any movie a low rating. In a perfect world, they would all be great movies. A Brush With Death (Get it? The killer is a painter.) misses with just about everything though. Even the ending leaves you with a "What? That's it?" feeling. Maybe it would have been better if the girls had spent the night at the old house and had been haunted.

1 out of 5 No ghosts for you!

More Stuff To Give-Away

It is that time again to give something away for free. I have two different movies to give-away yet, so there will be one more after this one before I have to find something else to buy. The DVD I decided to throw up for free today is one that has made some peoples lists for worst of 2009. I didn't feel that way about it though. In fact, I loved it. Mostly because of Arielle Kebbel. Even though I feel like I am one of the few that liked it, you get it for free. So if you don't like it, at least you didn't spend any money on it, right?

There is more good news! I have two copies of this DVD, so there will be two winners! If I can find two people that want it anyway. Did I mention the name of the movie yet? No? Okay, I will clue everyone in then. You have a chance of getting The Uninvited for free!! All you have to do is send me email at mermaidheathertx at aim dot com and you will at least have the chance to win it. Odds of winning just happen to be how many would like to have it, but I only had two people on my last give-away. Either I picked a bad movie, or everyone hates me. Get those emails to me, as you have one week to do so (May 30th)! Good luck!!!!

Another Reason To Hate The Snow

After dealing with some family issues, again, I remembered I forgot about my last give-away. Only two people wanted my DVD of The Final Destination, so I flipped a coin with a best of five chance. It was a toss up between Aaron and Emily this time. Since Aaron sent me an email first, he got heads. I had to flip the coin five times in order to come up with a winner, and it turned out to be...Emily! Sorry once again to Aaron though. You can complain to Emily if you want to Aaron. I have two other DVD's that I will be giving away soon enough. With both titles I have two of each to give away, so this time there will be two winners! I will probably announce the next give-away this weekend, so be on the look out for it. For today though, I decided to watch Lost Signal (2007, known as Dead Of Winter for the DVD release), which happens to be based on actual events...for real this time!

Kevin (Al Santos) and Tiffany (Sandra McCoy) are a couple that has decided to head off to a friends house for a New Year's Eve party. While there they snort a line of crystal meth, and unknown to them some LSD in their drink. After the party not ending so well, not because of the drugs, they head back to Kevin's place. They decide to stop at a store to pick up some soda to drink, and Kevin sees a strange guy in the store, but the guy disappears on him. As they start driving again, Kevin sees someone in the back seat. Before he can do anything about it though, he loses control of his SUV and crashes. Kevin and Tiffany take off out into the woods, but quickly realize that they are lost. Tiffany still has her cell phone with her, so Kevin calls 911 but gives the dispatcher (Ella Joyce) conflicting information. They believe someone is after them, but could it just be the drugs they took that is messing with their heads?

Lost Signal really is based on actual events. The writers changed a few things, especially how they were found, I am assuming in order to make it more of a horror movie. The movie hinges on us believing that maybe someone really is chasing after them through the woods. They go as far as a Sheriff noticing mud on one of their friend's shoes. Even though we aren't told until late in the movie about the LSD, I figured something was up with the drinks since they use slow motion while toasting and drinking. In the real life case, the couple used enough crystal meth for it to still be messing with their heads two to three days later. The 911 calls are at least somewhat close to the real ones. I can understand why they changed things around a little bit. The real story, while sad and terrible, isn't much of a horror story. The way they changed things though still doesn't make it much of a horror story. I found it to be more of a thriller actually. Even though the writers try hard to convince us that there is more going on than just drug use, it is easy to see through this and know that it is just the drugs messing with the couple.

Only one special effect in the movie which is a throat gets slashed open. Not badly done, but not very much blood to it. The acting seems to split people down the middle. People either thought it wasn't bad, or hated everyone in the movie. I think it would have helped Al Santos and Sandra McCoy more if there had been a longer period to get to know their characters before heading to the party to do drugs. There is only a small section of film where we get to know the different characters, so that makes it harder to judge their acting. While in the woods they are scared and yell at each other a lot. Brian McNamara directs and also plays the part of the head Sheriff. I thought it was just the Sheriff and the dispatcher in the offices, but now and then another guy would talk with the dispatcher. I never figured out who he was supposed to be.

Lost Signal ended up being a movie that I am having trouble deciding how much I liked it. It is an interesting movie, but I think it would have been best to have stuck with the true story instead of trying to make it into something it wasn't. It would no longer be a horror movie then, but the story would have had a bigger impact I think. The movie itself could have been better if they had set it up a little more than they did. It doesn't take long before Kevin and Tiffany are lost out in the woods. This surprised me since there was still a lot of movie left to get through. The writers try to break this up by showing us what is happening back at the station, except they really aren't doing much of anything outside of the waiting game. I can't say that I was ever bored watching Lost Signal, but I was getting close. This isn't really a bad film, at least I didn't see it that way, but it missed the mark. I didn't see the twist coming at the end, but I didn't really care either. I still think they should have just stuck with the actual story, and not tried to make it into something it wasn't.
2 out of 5 Glad I only take drugs the doctor gives to me

Crazy Mailman

Now that I am caught up with the Twilight series, I can move on. My 700th post will coming up here shortly, and I plan on kicking off a series a review with that post. As always, it will be a favorite movie of mine. The first movie is anyway. As far as I know there are five movies in the series, so maybe that will leave all of you guessing until I get to it. I still have a few more reviews to get to before that post though, and one of those is for the movie I watched today, The Mailman (2004). I wasn't sure which movie I wanted to watch out of my instant queue today. So many to choose from, you know? I just went with the one at the top, well second from the top actually. I admit that I like the DVD cover for the movie. A mailman with an axe has to be good, doesn't it?

When Darius Foxx (Rob Arbogast) was a young boy, he came home from school one day to find his mother with another man. Darius didn't actually walk in on them, but could see them from the outside window. The walking in part was left up to his father, who didn't say a word about it. Instead he pulls out his gun and shoots both the man, and then his wife. When he notices his son at the window, he turns the gun on himself. Now, almost 20 years later, Darius returns to the small town where this murder/suicide, and plans to take revenge on the town. He takes the place of the local mailman, and everyone seems to take his word that the regular mailman decided to take a vacation, without telling anyone of course. Before delivering the mail, he shifts through it all in order to find out the secrets of everyone in town, and of course uses them against each person. He targets Beth (Ari Tinnen) and her brother Jay (Jesse Merrill), mainly because Darius has a special bond with Jay that he doesn't know about yet. Jay is the bad sheep in the family. He comes across as a real jerk, and loves to play jokes on people. When he learns that his best friend is dating his sister behind his back, he is eager to break away, which helps Darius' plans a lot.

A lot of people complained that this movie looked like it was filmed on a video camera. I didn't notice the bad film quality though. I think that might be because I was watching it on my computer, and even then not at full screen. I did notice that The Mailman had a low rating, just under two stars, before I started watching it. Personally, I think that your general fan, that likes horror movies but doesn't watch as many as most of us bloggers, tend to be a little too hard on low budget movies. They aren't always made as well as the bigger brother called Hollywood. Give me a good plot and at least a well done effort in making the movie, and I'm good to go. With The Mailman though, the low rating is in fact justified. We are given a very thin plot to go with, the mailman never takes up an axe, and the kills end up being very boring. Darius doesn't do a whole lot outside of reading every ones mail, and telling people things that tend to make them mad. He bonds with Jay by having him over to read mail, smoke, and drink. I know that is how I bond with people. Darius does kill a few people, but it feels random at best a lot of the time. He kills Jay's girlfriend, which I didn't understand since he is trying to get the guy to trust him. Killing the girlfriend isn't a very good way to do that in my book at least.

The effects are pretty minor, just a some blood when someone gets stabbed or shot. The acting was okay at best. Rob Arbogast makes a great bad guy. Nothing against the other actors in this film, but Rob was clearly above them as far as his acting went. He is the main reason I'm not going to give The Mailman my lowest rating. I also liked Ari Tinnen to a degree as well. A lot of people felt the acting wasn't worth watching, but again with this being a low budget movie with a bunch of no-name actors, I'm not going to be as hard on it. They weren't real bad actors, so I can live with what was given to me.

If you like nudity in a film, this one is for you. You won't find nudity in every other scene, but there is still plenty of it. Much like who Darius feels like killing, the nudity can feel random. There is even a scene with two women making out. I don't know too many that will do that, and get completely naked, while out in front of their house though. Maybe they were around back, either way though they were outside. Ari Tinnen doesn't show anything though. I guess being the lead actress you don't have to show nudity. I have noticed that in a lot of films really. With Ari though, it is slightly different. She takes a shower in one scene, and a bubble bath in other. Because of this, we catch a glimpse of her breasts, but never a full shot of them. It almost felt like the film makers were teasing us with this actress.

The Mailman could have been a fun little film I think, but they didn't give it a very good plot. I would think that a normal mailman would have found plenty of reasons to kill people at times. Mine drives a truck, and usually will not get out even if I am home to drop off something at the door or have something signed for. I actually stood just outside the door while he dropped off mail, only to find a notice saying I wasn't home so I have to go to the post office to get the package. Of course that is me wanting to kill the mailman, not the other way around. Still though, I'm sure they could have come up with a better plot, and way more interesting deaths, than they did here.
2 out of 5 At least he wasn't delivering more than the mail

How I Fell In Love With The Twilight Series Part One

I have been putting this off ever since the movie came out. I just had no interest in seeing this romance...excuse me, this horror/thriller of a movie. I broke down because my dad asked if I would get New Moon from Netflix. His girlfriend wanted to see it, but didn't want to buy it in order to watch it. She didn't care for Twilight (2008), but had been hearing the sequel was better. By the way Emily, she likes the books better than the movies because they are "more romantic...and I don't know, just better." Since I had the sequel here, I went ahead and got Twilight so I could watch these things and get it over with. If I did this right, you will be able to find my review for New Moon in the post below. After watching Twilight, who knew I would have loved it so damn much?

Bella (Kristen Stewart) has moved to Forks, Washington in order to live with her dad (Billy Burke). She has lived there before, but as a young child. Now as a teenager, she heads off to school where she seems to make friends rather quickly. She meets Edward (Robert Pattinson), who doesn't say a word to her, but seems to be bothered by the way she smells. Before she can find out what is wrong though, he takes off and doesn't show up at school for a few days.When he does show up again, Edward tells Bella that he is sorry, but they shouldn't be friends. They do become friends though, and Bella begins to figure out just what Edward is...a vampire. Lucky for her, Edward doesn't believe in drinking human blood. However, a group of vampires that do believe in drinking human blood is in town. Will Bella and Edward be able to have a relationship? Or will the other vampires take Bella for themselves?

I admit that I have never read the books that the movie is based on. I can't say that I never will, but like the movies, I'm not all that excited about reading them. To be fair though, up until I watched the movie, I was basing everything I knew about it from what others were saying. Shortly after the movie, I had a few people tell me what the story was about. It is important to note that they had read the books. They each gave me a quick run down on the plot, and my reaction was, "So it is a romance with some vampires and stuff thrown in." They couldn't really argue with me on that. Horror movies will sometimes have a little romance in them, but I can't say that they are well known for that. When I was told Twilight was more or less a romance, I stayed away from it.

Now that I have watched it, I still sort of wish I had stayed away from it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, so I will give it credit for that, but it still wasn't what I would call a good movie. I can't say I was bored while I was watching Twilight, but I wasn't into it either. It has some good moments though. The baseball game was interesting and fun to watch. The bad vampires are kind of cool, even though they are hardly used even when they are the threat. Meeting Edwards clan was also fun. The interesting parts are few and far between though. They are mixed in with some laughable dialogue, and some really stupid character development. With two hours to kill, it has a bit more time to give us some character development, but in the end I felt like I didn't really know anyone. There are a few Native Americans in the movie who give Edward a certain look every time they pass by each other. I couldn't tell if it was a pissed off look or I hate you look. None of the actors were very good at facial expressions in fact.

What made me laugh, well not literally but I did find it funny, is that Edward keeps telling Bella they can't be friends, or that they shouldn't talk or be around each other. Even though it is Edward telling Bella this, it is always Edward that is going up to Bella in order to tell her. She was in fact staring at him a lot, but it wasn't like she was always finding reasons to try and talk to him, or following him around. If you want someone to leave you alone, don't keep going to that person to tell them that you twit! I was also trying to figure out why Edward was missing so much school. At first I thought maybe it was because the sun was out more that day, but I decided to scrap that idea when other vampires from his clan were still showing up.

The acting felt very flat to me, and I hear it is even worse in the next movie. Not everyone is this way though. I did manage to find a few people I did like in the supporting cast. Even though I have liked Kristen Stewart in other movies, but in this movie she just showed very little emotion. At least it felt that way to me, and it seems to others as well. Robert Pattinson wasn't any better in his role. Even though she is seen more than she is heard, I really enjoyed Ashley Greene in her part. She was funny, and I loved her hair. I know a friend of mine like the evil vampires much more than anyone else in the film. She especially like Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria. As for special effect...what special effects? Oh I'm sorry, I forgot about how they make a vampire glow, or sparkle, in the sun light. I am assume it has to be direct sun light, but I never understood what makes the difference between direct and what you find on a cloudy day. I know it isn't as strong on a cloudy day, of course, but it is still sun light.

Edward and his clan only drink animal blood. This isn't the first movie to use this as a plot point when it comes to vampires, but is the first time I've ever heard vampires calling themselves vegetarians. Personally I think they could have found a different word to use. Maybe it was meant to be funny in some ways, but I found it rather stupid myself. I also found it annoying that Bella can't let Edward leave whenever he hints that he will. Let this be a lesson to all of you guys out there: Save a girl's life a couple of times and she will think she owns you!

It is easier to point out all the faults than it is to point to the better things. Problem is though, I didn't really find all that much that I liked. Twilight isn't a bad movie, but it isn't great either. I never really felt bored while watching it, but at the same time I kept waiting for something exciting to happen. I don't give a shit if there are vampires to be found, and werewolves in the next movie, this isn't a horror movie. It is barely a thriller. It is nothing more than a romance movie that tries to play off a normal person in love with a vampire, and it failed at that small task. I'm off to give New Moon a try, but I don't feel I will like it any better.
2 out of 5 What? Did you really think I would love this movie?

How I Fell In Love With The Twilight Series Part Two

I'm sure you have all been wondering why I haven't posted anything in close to a week now. Or maybe it has been a week. I have been working a little bit of overtime at work, and having to bring some of my reports home with me to finish up. By the time I get all that done, I've had a little time to catch a movie but not much time to write. I could have started this review Friday night, but I felt the need to get out of the house for a while and have some fun with friends. We didn't do much, went out to eat was all, but it was still nice to hang out with them for a little while. Another reason I haven't posted anything is because I wanted to publish this review for New Moon (2009), along with my review for Twilight at the same time. I could have made it all one long review, but I realize not everyone will read these, and why make you all suffer through a very long post?

Poor Bella (Kristen Stewart). After talking Edward (Robert Pattinson into being with her, she manages to cut herself at her own birthday party, which causes Edward's family to gasp. One of them goes into attack mode, but the rest of the family manages to save Bella. Edward pretty much tells Bella to fuck off after that happens. He doesn't actually say that but then again, it is rated PG-13 so they can't use that word so I will use it here instead! Edward and his clan up and move away on Bella, which leaves her heart broken. She sits in the same chair, apparently not moving at all, for three months before getting back out again. She sits at the table in the lunch room at school that the Cullen's sat at, which oddly enough no one else has claimed. When out with a friend, she spots a group of guys who are supposed to be bad because they are sitting around on motorcycles I guess. Edward appears to Bella in a ghostly way, and warns her off. So Bella comes up with a plan. If motorcycles equal danger, which gets Edward to kind of - sort of appear to her, then by God she will put herself in danger! She buys a couple of old bikes, and gets Jacob (Taylor Lautner) to help her fix them up. The whole romance thing starts up again, until we find out Jacob's secret and when Bella learns that Edward is in danger.

Okay, I will warn everyone that there are mild spoilers to be found here in. Even though I heard the acting was worse this time around, I found it to be about the same really. Even though Kristen and Robert are an item in real life, at least that is what OK magazine thrives off of (not that I buy it but I have noticed they are on nearly every cover for that magazine), you can't tell it in these movies at all. I didn't feel it between Kristen and Taylor either. I also feel that some acting talent is being wasted in the much smaller supporting roles. I still like Ashley Greene, and even Dakota Fanning shows up. There had yet to be a film that I didn't like Dakota was in, but New Moon managed to change that. She shows up long enough to say a few lines, stare a lot, and be gone again. Now maybe some of these actors will end up with larger roles in the upcoming sequels, but it feels like such a waste to have them barely in the film.

At the end of New Moon, I honestly felt I had just watched a whole lot of nothing. Outside of the budding romance between Bella and Jacob, if you want to call it that, nothing much happens until the last half hour and even then I felt cheated. When something exciting is going to happen, the movie manages to stop short of that. Werewolves meet up with vampire and a big battle looks like it is going to happen. Vampire hits one werewolf and runs off into the woods with the werewolves hot on his tail. Do they show us what happened though? No of course not. Well they do in a flashback, I guess you can call it that anyway, but even that was too little too late and didn't show much anyway. The whole movie was like this. Every time something exciting seemed like was in works, they made sure to stop just short of that. It became very annoying which is why I felt like I watched a whole lot of nothing.

Much like Twilight, I found something that tickled my funny bone. Once Jacob knows for sure what he is, he also pushes Bella away, not wanting to hurt her. He is also afraid she won't keep his secret. When he said something to that affect, I couldn't help but think: "Oh come on dude. She hangs out with vampires, so of course she isn't going to say anything!" Jacob knows what Edward is, which explains the looks him and his family/friends were giving Edward in the first movie. Another scene was when Bella saves Edward. I was a little confused as to what Edward was about to do. It looked like he was about to jump to his death, but it turns out he was at street level after all. I am assuming now he was going to show the world, or at least those just outside his door step, that his skin sparkles. I don't know why he would want to do that though, as I'm sure someone would have said something like: "Excuse me mister, what is up with all the sparkle stuff on you? Are you like gay or something?"

The only thing I found somewhat interesting to look at was the werewolves. They change a little too quickly for me, but they were neat to look at. They are CGIed of course, but not done in a bad way. I was surprised at how large they made the wolves, but I guess that makes them more of a threat to the vampires that way. The also surprised me by pulling the head of a vampire off. That was the closest these movies have come to a horror movie, unless you want to count the abusive boyfriend. By that I mean Edward tossing Bella half way across the room in order to "save" her. He ends up hurting her more than she was already thanks to that stunt.  Anyway, very little in the effects department, which really didn't surprise me any.

I screwed myself by watching these movies you see. Once I see a movie I tend to want to watch every sequel that comes out, no matter how bad they end up being. So I am sure I will watch the next movie, I think another one is in the works actually, but I haven't decided if I will wait the DVD or brave the theater for it. As for New Moon, I wanted to like it but I can't. Twilight was better to me, but not by much really. I didn't find as much that interested me this time around. The things that did are very under used, which is starting to feel like a trademark for this series. If it isn't advancing the romance between Edward/Bella, or Jacob/Bella, then it is a waste of film time. The problem is though, at least to me, is that neither film does a very good job of showing us that they love each other. Like in New Moon they show us Jacob and Bella hanging out with each other a lot as they rebuild the motorcycles. We are shown them having fun and laughing, but why does that equal them falling in love with each other? Falling in love isn't about just hanging out and having a good time, friends do that shit all the time. It is about holding eye contact a little longer than normal, the small touches that happen, the mild flirting that turns into major flirting...things like that that we get none of in either film. For a series of books I am told prides itself on swooning teenagers hearts with the romance between Bella and Edward, we very little to next to none of it in the movies. Maybe the books are better, but I am just going by what I am seeing in each film. So far this series has not impressed me in the slightest.
2 out of 5 What is up with the screaming in her sleep? Seriously?!?

I'm Dying To Graduate

After many tries, I actually got my review for Seventh Moon done. I'm not sure what the problem was, I guess that site didn't like things called Seventh Moon. I got around it though, and did manage to get it published at long last. I'm back on track as far as my master plan, which is to watch an Instant Watch movie, a Netflix movie I have at home, and then a movie from my own collection. So that means it was time once again to watch an Instant Watch movie. I decided to go with Graduation Day (1981). Mostly because it is one of the few movies I have left in Instant Watch that I can no longer get on DVD. I remember reading a review for this movie over at Final Girl, and I thought I remembered that she liked this one. Well I was wrong. I went back after watching it and read it again. She actually only liked one of the weapons found in it, but not the actual movie.

Laura (Ruth Ann Llorens) is a track star on her high school team. After one of her events, where her coach (Christopher George) is really pushing her to reach a certain time, Laura wins but collapses on the track. Her team rushes to her side, but it is too late. Anne (Patch Mackenzie), Laura's older sister, returns to town in order to be at the graduation ceremony where her sister will be honored with a special trophy. Soon after getting into town though, one of the other girls that was on the track team is also killed, but this time it is murder. It seems someone is blaming the track team for Laura's death. Could it be Anne, who doesn't get along with her mom or step dad and felt Laura was the only bright spot in her life? Could it be the coach, who was fired after Laura's death? Or maybe it is Kevin (E. Danny Murphy), who was dating Laura at the time?

When Graduation Day started up, I learned that it is a film made by Troma. Knowing that Troma likes to throw in what I feel is very stupid comedy, I wasn't really looking forward to watching the rest of the movie, which had yet to really even start. To my surprise though, Graduation Day is one of their more serious efforts. It still has some silly and funny parts in it, but not what I've always considered the norm for a Troma film. However, it does suffer from another Troma problem: pacing. The kills happen every once in a great while, with a lot of filler in between. Considering the movie actually runs longer than 90 minutes, that is saying something. Some of it makes sense, but there are subplots that go nowhere. The music teacher is having sex with a student (Linnea Quigley), which has nothing to do with the main plot other than she is also dating a guy from the track team. According to IMDb trivia, Linnea's character was added because an actress hired as part of the track team was fired after refusing to be nude, even though her contract said she would be. Nothing like adding a sub plot just to have a little nudity in the film. There is also an extended roller skating rink scene, complete with a live band. The group, called Felony apparently, has one of the worst singers I have heard in a while. Hopefully they never left the roller rink scene. We also get to see people running around the rink. I guess there was just so many people that they ran out of roller skates to rent out?

The effects are not so special actually. There are a few that don't turn out too bad, but for the most part they didn't turn out too well. At least they were trying to be somewhat creative with the kills. We get a slit throat, a fencing sword (as the killer uses fencing gear for some reason) threw the throat, a head cut off with over sized garden shears, and of course the football sword. My only problem with the kills is they seemed a little too planed out. By that I mean how did the killer know the track/football player guy would be running through the park? In full football gear no less. Or the high jumper was going to practice? Who was also given a special death. The acting wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. No one really stood out to me, but it was great to see a young Linnea Quigley. Vanna White also shows up in one of her early roles. I didn't knew which character she was until I read some other reviews though.

Another thing that hurts Graduation Day is that there is no real main character. There isn't anyone that is really trying to figure out who is the killer is until late in the movie. Anne is the closest there is to a main character, but even her appearance is spotty. Another odd thing is that no one seems to notice that people on their team, or even classmates in general, are disappearing. Again, it isn't until late in the movie that they decide that the parents are worried at least. But they don't even call the police right away, and this is after a couple of days at least, but instead call the school and ask why their kids haven't come home yet. Despite all the things going against Graduation Day, and there is a lot of things, I still enjoyed watching it for some reason. Yes it was slow in places, and the plot could have worked out better than it did, but I still was having fun with it. I think part of it had to do with the fact that the film makers were at least making a somewhat serious film. Be warned that Graduation Day isn't a very good film. Who knows though, maybe if you give it a chance it might end up being a movie that you can walk away from enjoying, at least a little bit. I will probably forget this movie in a few days, but I can honestly say I liked it when I did watch it.
3 out of 5 Running out to find me a fencing outfit!!

There Is Evil In Them There Woods

After taking a short break I am, hopefully, ready to start writing again. I wish my first post of the new month could have been for a better movie, but I have no control over how good or bad a movie is. I did manage to watch, and even review, A Nightmare On Elm Street though, so check it out if you would like to read my thoughts on it. When I got home last night, I decided it was time to review a movie for here. I still have a review to write for Top Horror Movies Club, but it can wait another day or two. I picked up the next movie I have from Netflix, which happened to be Woods Of Evil (2005).

Ray (Conrad Glover) has been out of prison for five month, and his probation officer is a little upset that he has yet to find a job. Ray is more interested in getting rich quick though. His friend Dice (Chistopher Farmer) is also looking for a way to get rich quick. Dice happens to see a newspaper article about a well-to-do family. Ray and Dice come up with a plan to kidnap the daughter, and hold her for ransom. Ray meets up with another friend, Paco (Jaime Velez) who is just getting out of prison himself, and talks him into joining them on this venture. They happen to know the guy that runs the restaurant that the family is going to be eating at, so getting to the daughter is easy. They grab Charisse (Nicholl Jones) and her friend Sonia (Raine Brown), who happens to come from an even more wealth family. They take the two women out to a cabin in the woods that Ray knows about. But unknown to them all, a killer stalks the woods.

The movie actually opens with some place cards telling us that a series of people ended up missing between 1975 and 1976. The police made a connection to all of these people because they were all heading to the Jersey shore when they ended up missing instead. After many man hours, nothing was ever discovered beyond that though. I guess we are supposed to assume those people went missing in the same stretch of woods that the story I described above takes place in. They never bring up those other missing people ever again. I thought that Woods Of Evil might be a problem when I discovered I didn't like the way it was being edited within the first few minutes of the movie. After the place cards, we see some guy and his girl parked beside some woods. The guy needs to pee, so heads into the woods to take care of that. An old man comes along and warns the girl to get out of the area because there is something evil in the woods. The guy gets killed, and then the girl. Instead of just showing us this opening story that sets the "mood", they decide to cut away now and then to introduce us to Ray while he talks to his probation officer. I thought it would have been best to stick with the guy and girl, and then introduced us to Ray, but it's not my movie.

Things go from bad to worse when I started to notice how bad the kills were being handled. More often than not we are treating to a shot of the woods while we hear the murder happen. Once it is over we see how the guy killed the person. Some of the effects don't look too bad, while some do, but at least let us see some of the murders happening instead of just listening to them. The funniest effect to be found is one of the kidnappers gets impaled on a tree stump. The part of the stump that is sticking out of the guy moves each time the guy does. I guess that is a case of low budget, but does that excuse lazy directing? In one scene the kidnapped girls are tied up on a bed, and are trying to get away. They are just talking at first before they decide they can try to get away. I didn't notice it at first, but every time one of the girls would move, it would cause the camera to move as well. Why? Because the camera is just sitting on the bed. Was it too much trouble to hold the camera for that scene?

Not only does Conrad Glover star in Woods Of Evil, but he is also the writer and director, at least he is when he isn't just sitting the camera down and letting it film. Each actor in the movie has moments where their acting isn't half bad, but they also have moments where it is very bad. Even though the two girls were playing a dangerous game, I liked that they took every chance to make fun of their captors. The problem I had with both Raine Brown and Nicholl Jones was that they are very annoying when trying to act scared. Every actor felt annoying to me at some point, which is never a good thing for a movie.

I think the major problem with the plot is that our main characters don't know they are in danger until very late in the movie. They are in the cabin for a long, with the killer supposedly walking around outside. The girls see him a total of one time, but of course the guys don't believe them. We do see the killer pick off the random person that happens to be in the woods now until he decides to go after the group. As a few people have pointed out, as it seems not many people have bothered to watch Woods Of Evil, this is a good film to watch in order to see what mistakes not to make if you are thinking about making your own movie. I know a small budget can really hurt a film, but a good director will still find ways to make a film interesting despite this. Woods Of Evil doesn't manage to do that at all.
1 out of 5 Did you know you can die when your face gets slashed?