A few months ago, I got a call telling me that Fay and her family found out that Fay has cancer. I didn't know just how bad it was until recently though. They found two brain tummers that turned out to be canceres, lung cancer, liver cancer and all through her system. With treatment they gave her 22 months to live, without treatment, only 2 months. I guess she had always said if she ever found out she had cancer, she wouldn't fight it. She said this because of what happened to her husband's sister. About a year ago though, her first grandchild was born and this changed her mind. She was a big part of his life, looked after him a lot. She wasn't ready to give that up yet so she decided to go through the treatments.
Just a week or two before Christmas they all got good news. The cancer had gone into remission. Even though she was said to be very weak from everything, I was hoping that good days were about to follow. On Christmas Eve that all changed. She was rushed to the emergency room and they found out that one of her lungs had collapsed. A couple of days later she went into a coma. The doctors were saying it was just a matter of time and that other people that had been her place rarely come out of it enough to ever leave ICU. On the first day of the new year, she came out of it. As the days went by, she seemed to be gaining strength and after a while, the only thing on her mind was getting home so they made that happen.
On January 17th at 10:08am, she passed away in her home. Fay has meant a lot to me over the years. She was always willing to listen to me, willing to come to my swim meets even though none of her kids was into swimming. She always called me her raven because of my black hair, no one in her family has dark hair. I was her "other child" and I was proud to be that. She wasn't my mom by blood but she was one in my heart. I miss you Fay, more than I can put into words. I hope you are happy, where ever it is you are now. I will see you again when it is my turn to join you.
A year or two ago, I wrote a poem. It wasn't planed on because I really can't write poems. I had been sitting around and thinking about my own mom, the memories I have of her. Sometimes I wish I could remember her better than I do but that is how things go. While this poem wasn't wrote with Fay in mind, it still fits in a way. I know my regulars wouldn't do this but I will say it anyways, please respect me as a writer and not take the poem, or anything else on this blog, for your own work.
For my moms:
I miss the walks we went on
And picking flowers along the way
I miss hearing you laugh
And seeing the smile that soon followed
I miss seeing you happy
And yes, I even miss the times you were mad at me
I miss you holding me close
And singing softly into my ear
I miss your hugs and kisses
I miss your love most of all
But most importantly I miss you
My memories and feelings of you
I keep in that special place
Inside my mind and heart that only you own
Where they will stay
Until the day that I get to be with you
And share these things with you once again
May 2, 1951 - January 17, 2007
I will get a new review up here sometime. Probably do me good to distract me for a bit but I just haven't wanted to sit down, been keeping busy instead. Now if you will excuse me, I think I will go finish crying.