What Smells In Here?

I know it is no longer the weekend and I didn't get a review up yesterday. After watching Zombie Night Saturday, I kept finding other things to do besides watching the next zombie move The Stink Of Flesh (2004). By the time I finaly got around to watching it and all the extra's, it was getting pretty late so I decided to write up the review today instead. I might be a day late with the review but at least I did watch the movie on Sunday!

The Stink Of Flesh tries to be different with its story telling. Matool (Kurly Tlapoyawa) is a pretty well built guy that likes to fight zombies in hand-to-hand combat. He also carries a weird looking hammer along with some very long nails, which he kills the zombies with. We are told later on that he decided to kill zombies this way because ammo is to hard to find. After saving a woman in a car (Tanith Fiedler), they run into a building where there is an older man with two young boys. The older man hints that he has sex with the young boys which Matool replies that he doesn't need sex that badly yet. Instead he tries to get the woman he just saved to have sex with him but she turns him down. Instead, she lets the zombies in while trying to get back out to save her brother even though she watched him being munched on by zombies.

Matool escapes only to be hit by a car door. When he wakes up we are introduced to Nathan (Ross Kelly). We also discover that the youngest boy is still alive and with them. Nathan was out looking for someone to bring home to his wife, Dexy (Diva). The have been married for 7 years but before they were married they agreed to live an alternative lifestyle. Basicly an open marriage as long as the other gets to watch. Mostly it seems to be for Dexy. Nathan does keep a female zombie chained up in a shack and goes out there once in a while to have sex with it. Yes you read that right. There is also the sister, Sassy (Kristin Hansen), who has a birth defect of a face in her side. She claims this is her other sister Dotty. Eventually, they are joined by a group of military guys that were attacked by zombies and managed to get away. The party really gets going then.

The Stink Of Flesh offers up some nice effects. The zombie effects were simple but effective. In my last review I said I didn't like the blue hue of the zombies because it was blue. In this film they gave the zombies a dark grey hue that could look a little blueish at times but I thought looked much better than outright blue. I also understood where they were going with this kind of effect. Rotting skin does get darker as it rots. At times the zombie effects and wounds looked a little off but over all I was impressed with it.

I was also really impressed with the acting at first. I say at first because I think after watching Zombie Night, which offered very poor acting, I felt the acting for The Stink Of Flesh was the best I have watched in a while. As the movie went on, I realized that the acting was as great as I first thought. It wasn't Zombie Night bad mind you, but it wasn't the best ever either. The cast actually felt like they were giving an effort at least. Kristin Hansen probably was my favorite performance in this film. She gave her character a lot of quirks that set her apart from everyone else. Devin O'Leary, Andrew Vellenoweth, and Billy Garberina play the military guys that show up. Bryan Gallegos plays the creepy little kid that never speaks.

The Stink Of Flesh started off fairly good. As it went along I felt it fell apart though. I didn't mind the mixing of styles to much but by doing this there was no real plot going on. In a flash back, they show Nathan killing a guy just so they can have his wife. Then they show Nathan putting his hand around her neck. They don't show him killing her but it is easy to assume that since she is now a zombie chained up in the shack. While that does help explain how the zombie ended up in the shack, it leaves open the question what do they do with the rest of the people they bring there?

I came close to liking this one but it falls short. No real plot to it and the bad ending doesn't help. The little kid finds a way to get rid of everyone but him and Dexy and they zoom in on his eyes like he is supposed to be some evil kid or something. It was nice to have a different kind of story but they needed more plot for me to have really enjoyed it. Only watch if this ones sounds interesting to you.
2 out of 5 Zombies leaving poop behind

Zombie Roast

Before I start in with my next review, could you all please give COTCgirl a nice warm welcome. I'm looking forward to talking horror movies with you and I'm sure the others that post comments here are looking forward to it as well.

This weekend is going to be a zombie weekend. It kinda started with Dead Meat, even though I didn't watch it over the weekend. For today I watched the next zombie movie Zombie Night (2003). Normaly I would give an overview of some of the plot but this movie was sooo bad that I will just talk about it some as I go.

World War III has broken out in the middle east and atomic or chemical weapons have been used all over the world. This is causing the dead to come back to life. Mark (John Carson) and Amber (Andrea Ramolo), along with their daughter Emily (Deanna Wales), are just finding out about this after spending a vacation up in the mountains with no radio or tv. Sounds interesting so far? It did to me at the start but it quickly went down hill from there. As soon as the actor's spoke, it was easy to tell this was going to be a long movie. Anyways, they hole up and after a few days they start to run out of supplies. Mark then decides to go out and see what he can find. He runs into Dave (Danny Ticknovich). Together they start finding more survivers and make a group while trying to find a place where they can all be safe.

This is a more of a story about the people that are left more then it is about the zombies. Even though there is a greater threat, we still can't see to all get along to well. This is proven by the character of Derek (Dwayne Moniz) who tries to be the "I in team." After being caught eating as much food as he could stuff, and being a jerk in general, the group decides it is best if they make Derek leave. He does so but quickly returns. Since the group won't let him back in, he breaks the door down which allows the zombies to get in as well. Derek does things like this all through the movie, even kills a girl right in front of everyone and yet the group really never does anything about him.

Speaking of the group, the group seems to get larger and smaller at will. Most of the new people are never explained or introduced. They make the group smaller after zombie attacks usually. We only see a couple of people get caught by the zombies but we are told by the main characters that "we lost a lot of people tonight." I was never sure who was being killed half the time. After a while I gave up caring anyways. There seems to be plenty of guns but we never see ammo so I have no idea how they managed to reload. I'm also fairly sure that some guns had more bullets in them than they could hold.

The only good thing I can really say about Zombie Night are the effects. The zombies were well done. Nice and bloody but no rotting ones that I could find. Towards the end of the movie they were starting to turn up with a blue hue to them. I didn't really care for that to much. One zombie has his leg shot off (why the guy just didn't shoot the zombie in the head I don't know) and the zombie starts to eat the part of the leg that is no longer attacted to him. First time I have seen a zombie eating itself. There was also a scene where Amber gets gutted and having her insides munched on while still alive that was done nicely as well.

All the being said, I can't suggest anyone watch Zombie Night just for the effects. It isn't worth it! Very flat, and sometimes over done, acting. Some scenes make no sense what so ever like a guy peeing on a wall while a news cast is being heard over a radio. That scene a few others really had no purpose to the over all plot of the movie but we still see them. The sound was the worst I have heard in a while. I often complain about the actor's voices being so low I can't hear them so I turn it up only to be blasted by music or some other noise. There were times like that in this movie as well, but it wasn't music I had to worry about, it the actor's voices. One second they are real low and then for the next scene they are blaring out at you. Not only that, the voices don't always match up with their mouth.

Zombie Night stays true to its title at least. You see, the zombies are only active at night. They seem to just lay around mostly durring the day. It was very rare that they showed a zombie walking around in the sun light. You would think this would be the perfect time to go zombie hunting but no, they never go do this. In the end, the group is down to four, they tie Derek up and hang him in a tree so the zombies can snack on him. Then they run head long into a big group of zombies in order to try and get by them and the credits role. After all the strugle they went through with Derek, it would have been nice watching him being munched on at the very least.

What could be worse than this movie you ask? How about a sequel? Yes you read that right, according to IMDb there will be a sequel on the way. Sequel's are my weakness, I....must...watch. I wonder which movie they will copy this time. Zombie Night reminded me so much of Night Of The Living Dead. Lets at least hope the sequel is better, it sure can't be any worse.
1 out of 5 Zombie cannaibalism

Cows Say Moooo

When I started to watch today's movie I had high hopes for it. I avoided the reviews but I knew it was getting an average of 3 stars which is pretty good for an indy film. It has been a while since I have watched a zombie movie so that added to my hopes for this movie. Zombies aren't my favorite sub-genre in horror movie, that would probably have to go to the supernatural. However, when I think of zombie movies I usually expect a lot of gore.

Dead Meat (2004) starts with a farmer being killed by a mean cow. No kidding, it really does happen! From there we meet Helena (Marian Araujo) and Martin (David Ryan) who are out for a drive when they hit someone who is standing in the middle of the road because they weren't paying attention. They check for a pulse and find the man is dead. After spoting a near by house, they decide to take the man there and get some help so they load him into the back seat. Before they can get going though, the man comes back to life and bites into Martin's throat. Martin then bashes the head of said zombie with a stearing wheel lock bar. Helena then goes to the house on her own but doesn't find anyone, alive anyways. Martin then shows up at the house and starts to attack Helena but she manages to get away after killing Martin in a pretty clever way.

She then runs into Desmond (David Muyllaert) who is the local grave digger. His weapon of choice? Yeap you guessed it, a shovel. They make their way back to his place only to discover there are zombies all around so they take off again and this time they find a little girl (Kathryn Toolan) who has been bit but they don't know that. Soon after they find a couple working on their SUV. Cathal Cheunt (Eoin Whelan) likes to pick arugements with everyone he meets, this is how he can tell if he likes the person or not. Along with him is his wife Francie (Amy Redmond). Together they head off and fight the zombies. Oh, and the mad cow. You see this is why we have zombies, a new string of mad cow disease.

I enjoyed most of the effects for Dead Meat. Most of the killing were well done. There is a lot of gore but I didn't feel it went over board with it. Some zombies seemed to die a little to easy at times though. My main complaint about the effects would have to be with the zombies themselves. Some of the zombies you would never know they were zombies if it wasn't for the way they moved or maybe because they happened to be eating someone else. The other zombies were given the look of, I'm guessing, dead skin peeling off. It actually look like they just put a lot of mud on them and had it dry to give it a layered and flacky look though. I tried finding a picture of this but was unable to find one of a zombie that looked like this up close.

I also enjoyed the acting. This was filmed in Ireland and used actor's from there which is easy to figure out from their accents. The only one I had trouble understanding at times was Eoin Whelan because he would talk a little to fast. Marian Araujo is the main actress and does a wonderful job. David Muyllaert was the only one that I thought gave a blah performance.

So after all the good things I have said about it so far, you probably think I liked the over all movie. I did but I didn't. There are some things I learned from this movie: A vacuum cleaner and high heeled shoes make pretty effective weapons against zombies. If you wrap a sock, or a pair of socks, around a stick and set it on fire, it burns for a good long while and gives off lots of light. The best way to kill a cow is to hit a baseball at it. A shovel makes a much better weapon than I gave it credit for. Zombies know how to use a pick axe (that people just happen to leave in their house) but don't know how to open any kind of door. Zombies need to sleep too and they do it with their eyes open.



Dead Meat fliped from being a serious zombie to being a silly zombie movie. It could never really make up its mind which side it wanted to be on. Once our group took off driving I couldn't figure out where they were driving to. They drove what looked like a long time but never got anywhere. One of the last moments is a big showdown with our group and a very large group of zombies. It was night time when this happened and since it was dark it was a little hard to see things. What made it even worse was the directing. I could have lived with it being a little to dark to see things clearly but when bad camera angles add to this it makes it even more frustrating.

This is one of the few movies I have been tempted to give a half star to the rating because I can't really decide if I liked it or didn't like it. I'm not going to start doing that however so I've been thinking about this all day trying to weigh things out but in the end I'm going with my first impression. For an indy movie it is a very good movie, good effects and acting (for the most part) which is a lot more than some indy films has going for them. The things I didn't like out weighs the things I did like though. This one was close so I would say if you like zombie movies then you should check this one out. You might like it a tad more then I did.
2 out of 5 Death's by vacuum cleaner

Blessing In Disguise

Have you ever watched a movie just because a certain actor or actress was in it? I thought Blessed (2004) would be fairly desent because it has Heather Graham in it. I'm not a big fan of Heather Graham but she has been in a few movies that I really enjoyed. Will this be one of them? It came close but in the end it falls short.

Blessed starts with a pregnant woman jumping to her death while a hooded figure watches. Then we meet Samantha (Heather Graham) and her husband Craig (James Purefoy). Samantha has been unable to conceive a child and is considering going to a clinic to be tested for treatment. When Craig gets a nice advance on a book deal they decide it is time to try this. At the clinic they are told that Samantha is a good match and start the treatment. We see the doctor injecting something that doesn't look to good for Samantha. They find out a little later that the treatment worked, not only will she have a child, she will have twins. Samantha starts to notice that a hooded figure is starting to be everywhere she is at. Who is this person? What does he want? What was the stuff that the doctor injected as part of the treatment?

The only effect in this movie comes in at the very end of the movie. It was well done, I will give it that. The acting wasn't bad but it was not anything special either. I was starting to think that James Purefoy was the one pregnant since he seemed to have more mood changes than Heather Graham did. Andy Serkis plays the hooded figure. It turns out he is a priest that believes Samantha is pregnant with the devil's spawn. David Hemmings plays the man that sets everything up. He signs Craig to the book deal, giving him a very nice deal, and also owns the clinic that Samantha goes to for the treatment.

There was a good story here, even if it did borrow heavily from other movies like this one. I have been sitting here trying to figure out what this movie was missing and I haven't been able to really put my finger on it. It is a some what slow movie which didn't bother me any because it was a good story. Slow I can handle as long as the story keeps me interested, once it starts to drag its feet is when I get to bored with it. I think where it falls short is that it promises so much and then doesn't deliever it at the end. We know Samantha was selected. We know her babies won't be normal. They show us this in the scene before she gives birth by showing us impressions under her skin that look very strange. The paramedic looks worried as the baby comes out and then the screen goes black and we hear Craig say, "Oh my God." I won't completely spoil the ending but it was a let down.

Even though this was listed as a horror movie, there is only one jump scare. Other than that there are no scares to be found. Biggest part of the time I will know when a jump scare will happen but not this time. I will admit to jumping and feeling my heart race a little from the scare. A nice surprise for sure but I want more than one jump scare out of a horror movie. I wanted to like this one and I knew by the time it was getting close to the end that the ending would push it into my liking it or not liking it. Sadly the film didn't end as well as I had hoped it would.
2 out of 5 Devil girls

Fields Of Corn Part Seven

Do I see an end to this series? Yes....and no. Stephen King's web site says that part 8 is coming soon. Personally, I think they are trying to out live the Friday The 13th series. Many people that gave short reviews for Children Of The Corn 7: Revelation (2001) gave it very low ratings. To start, someone put the wrong synopsis on this film so I think that has confused people. When people think they know what they story basically is about and then it turns out to be something other than what they thought, most times people hate the film. Since I snuck a peak at the reviews before watching this film I knew ahead of time so wasn't disappointed by it.

So what is COTC7 about? I shall tell you if you truly would like to know. Jamie (Claudette Mink) hasn't heard from her grandmother in some time and since her grandmother is the only family she has left, she is very worried about her. She finds out that her grandmother has been living in a run down apartment building that has been condemned. There are still a handful of people that still live there. There is Jerry (Troy Yorke), Tiffany (Crystal Lowe) and a guy that is never named but I assume is this guy listed in the credits as Cranky Man (John B. Destry). There is also two kids that seem to pop up out of no where all the time (Taylor Hobbs and Jeffery Ballard).

As the story starts to unfold, we find out that grandmother was part of a cult 60 years ago. When adults tried to stop the cult, the children set fire to themselves. All the children except one. A priest (Michael Ironside) tells Jamie that He Who Walks Behind The Rows doesn't think Jamie's parents or herself should have ever been born and wants to claim her. Can Jamie get away in time?

Really COTC7 is easily a stand-alone film. If it wasn't for the fact that they tied this movie in with the other movies by saying the cult was a corn cult and made of all children and the very quick reference to He Who Walks Behind The Rows, this could have been a movie with an all new title. It adds nothing new to what we already know except that the cult was around before we learn about it in the first movie. In truth, this is a ghost story. The children that died have come back to get the one that 'got away' and to get Jamie now that she is there.

I enjoyed the effects even though there wasn't a lot of them. Most of the effects was about the corn stalks coming to life and attacking people. Something that I haven't seen in this series since the third movie. I was glad to see that back. One of the more interesting deaths was when Tiffany was taking a bath and one of the two kids shows up beside the tub and drops some corn into the bath water. A few seconds later she is being attacked by corn stalks. I know it sounds stupid but trust me. The acting was fairly good as well. The only problem I really had with the characters is that the writers stereotyped them. Jerry is a druggie. Tiffany seemed rather slutty. And Cranky Man was just a very angry guy in a wheel chair. I thought they could have done a little better writing up the supporting cast.

I never figured out where this story was supposed to be taking place. From the scenes they show of the town I just assumed it was a small town out in the middle of no where but then they had a scene on top of the apartment building and off in the distance you could see some tall buildings that gave me the impression they were on the outskirts of a big city. Even so, I have to admit that I liked COTC7. It would have been nice if they had picked up the story where part 6 left off instead of taking a left turn into unexplored stories but it was still a good story. You really don't have to see the previous 6 films in order to understand this one. It explains everything you need to know for this story and only ties itself to the others by the ways I have already talked about. A nice little film for fans of the series and for those that enjoy ghost stories.
3 out of 5 Ghostly children

Fields Of Corn Part Six

I know what you are saying already. They made a 6th movie in this series? Yes they did. The trailor for this one says it will be the last movie (not) for this series. Children Of The Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999) goes back to the source material and expands on it. At least it tries to.

The story here picks up with Hannah (Natalie Ramsey) returning to Gatlin to find her birth mother (Nancy Allen). She picks up a preacher (Gary Bullock) along the road because his car broke down. He starts to tell her a story from the first book of Samuel. The story being about a woman that was unable to become pregnant and prayed to God and asked for his favor and He granted her wish. Hannah says that she doesn't forsee any kids in her future and the preacher says maybe you won't have a choice. Soon after he disappears from the car. Hannah then meets the local police in Cora (Alix Koromzay) who takes her to the local hospital to be checked out. Hannah meets Dr. Michaels (Stacy Keach), Gabriel (Paul Popowich) and of course Isaac (John Franklin). It seems Isaac has been in a coma all these years since the first movie. Hannah touch awakens him and Isaac sets off to fulfill the prophocy that says the first born son and first born daughter shall have a child that will lead them all. Will the prophocy come true?

There are fewer effects in this instalment then in part five. We get a head that is cut open, one guy impales himself and other guy gets gutted. Very little actually but all well done. Actually the head being cut open was a bit much. We got the idea so there was really no need to show more but they did. The acting was good as well. Natalie Ramsey did a nice job in the lead role. The only real problem I had was at the end of the movie Paul Popowich went over the top with his acting. This took away from the film a bit. It was nice to see John Franklin again. He didn't look much taller than he did back in the first film but does look older now.

Some of the plot for this film was very easy to pick up on. The writers lead us around and it was easy to see what was going to happen. At the same time I was confused by the plot because it has been years since I have watched the orignal movie and the plot for COTC6 plays off of that plot a lot. While looking at things on IMDb, someone asked a lot of the same questions I was left with and lucky for us both, COTCgirl was there to answer these questions. My thanks to you for helping me figure out what was going on. Hopefully you will find your way to my small blog someday.

The one thing that did impress me most about COTC6 was the way it was filmed. Kari Skogland did a nice job setting up some suspence and creepy looking shots. It is also nice to see a woman helm a horror movie. I haven't ran into a lot of women who are big fans of horror movies which is why I am hoping to see COTCgirl here someday. We have to stick together after all! Anyways, if you are a fan of the orginal or of the series then be sure to give this one a watch. It's not great but at least it tries its best to expand on the orignal story.
3 out of 5 Prophocies fortold

Fields Of Corn Part Five

I named the posting the way I did because today's movie was the fifth instalment of the series of film's Children Of The Corn. I have watched all four movie before this one and when I found out there were more I wanted to see those. Why? I don't know. I have always felt the need to watch all sequels, no matter how stupid they get. This is the first of this series that I have reviewed. Perhaps one day I will sit down and watch the previous four again and do reviews. I remember the first movie somewhat, not real well but I remember that I liked it fairly well because it was true to the short story and expanded on it. I'm pretty sure I had watched the second one but I don't remember anything about it so maybe I didn't see it. The third movie I hated and the fourth I liked, mostly because of the lead actress Naomi Watts.

Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror (1998) is about a group of college age students heading out to a friends home town in order to scatter his ashs. Of course this leads them all through the fields of He Who Walks Between The Rows. They are traveling in two cars and one seems to be pretty far ahead of the other car. The two people in this car gets killed off fairly quickly, before we even get to know them at all. The other car as an accident and can't go any further. The kids that come across them tell them they are on private land and need to leave. They point our group to the nearest town and let them be on their way. In town they talk to the bartender (Kane Hodder) and find out the story about the kids. If you have watched the any of the other movies you already know what the story is. If you haven't, go find the first movie and find out.

Allison (Stacy Galina) relizes that her brother Jacob (Dave Buzzotta) is part of this group of kids and wants to see him. She has to have permission from Luke (David Carradine) first though and after some talking he does grant this wish. Ezeekial (Adam Wylie) leads Allison to Jacob. Ezeekial is actually the true leader of these kids. Allison tries to talk Jacob into leaving with her but he doesn't want to. Before she leaves he gives her the bible and writes a message in it about He Who Walks Behind The Rows. While reading his message she figures out that the first letter in each sentence spells out help. Jacob is about to turn 18 and that means he will have to die because he will be the age of sin. Will Allison be able to help save him or will they all be killed off by these kids?

If there was one thing I liked about COTC5 it was some of the effects. I have noticed people saying how bloody this one was compared to the other instalments and I wish I could agree but it has been so long since seeing some of them that I can't give a fair comparison. There was some blood in this one but I didn't think there was a lot of it by any means. What impressed me most about the effects was some of the lighting and fire effects. One guy is lifted into the air by Ezeekial and then lightning strikes the man. The lighning was very well done and truely looked like it was striking him and then coming out of him on the other side. Fire consums a fireman and when another fireman tries to put the fire out the flames get higher and almost jump from the downed man to the new man. There was also a head spliting that was pretty good as well.

I wish I could say the same for the acting. It wasn't bad acting really it was just.....there. It didn't impress me at all. Like I said, it wasn't bad but it was far from great. The one performance that impressed me was a girl that never spoke a line. Two of the kids did most of the dirty work of killing intruders and she was one of the two. Even though she never speaks, I just got the feeling she was really into the role and was trying to make the best of it as she could. The twinkle in her eye when told to kill someone, the expressions she used just impressed me. Pretty sad when a none-speaking role is the only role that impressed me. Alexis Arquette, Eva Mendes and Greg Vaughan round out the group that we follow. Fred Williamson gives an alright performance as Sheriff Skaggs. David Carradine has a small part as the caretaker of the children. He isn't the actual caretaker though, just there in case some peskey adults come around.

He Who Walks Between The Rows is now inside of a silo and that took some of the lore away from COTC5 which I thought was a mistake. If you want to make yet another movie in a series that is fine but don't go changing the lore of the series from movie to movie. If anything annoyes me about writers, it is the way they tend to take the easy way out and say "ignore everything that happened in the other sequels." I'm not asking for repeats of the other movies, just keep the lore the same. That can be done and still have an orignal movie. That being said, how many sequels can you milk out of a short story? It was a short story after all. One thing I did like about this story is that there was a final girl. Don't worry I won't say which one. I liked this because there just doesn't seem to be to many movies that do this now days.

It wasn't that the lore was changed somewhat that ruined this movie for me. I could have lived with that, even though I wouldn't have liked it, if it had been a good movie. Basicly we have the same story as the previous films. Very little is added except for the whole silo thing. Even though I enjoyed the effects, there wasn't enough of them for me to truely enjoy COTC5. If the acting wasn't so ho-hum then I would have given this a slightly better rating. I would only suggest this one to those of you that are as stupid as me and have to watch all sequels.
2 out of 5 Gods with long names

Gator Food

Even though this movie was made way before I wrote up a review for Eaten Alive, I still feel like Tobe Hooper listened to me. Maybe he learned from his mistakes, not completely, but he did do a better job. I wasn't really expecting much from this movie. I will give you two reasons why I wasn't. One, I had watched Eaten Alive the day before. Two, this was a direct to video release. Usually when that is the case you shouldn't expect anything from it.

Crocodile (2000) starts off with a group of college kids heading off for some summer fun. We have Duncan (Chris Solari) who is real jerk of the film. Brady and Claire (Mark McLachlan and Caitlin Martin), the couple of our story. Sunny (Sommer Knight) who has been with Brady at some point and is hoping to have more of a relationship with Brady. There are four others as well but mostly they are just friends of these four who are tagging along. They all hop onto a house boat and take off down a very large lake.

Once night falls they take to land and build a camp fire where we hear the story of the lake creature that is said to roam the waters. Meanwhile, two fishermen come across some fairly large eggs. They start to throw them into the water and each other and this is when we first start to see momma crocodile. She doesn't take to kindly to people destorying her eggs and isn't to ashamed to show it. Our main cast of characters find what is left of the eggs a little while later. There are two left and they manage to drop one and take the other. One of the guys hides the egg inside Claire's backpack so now momma crocodile is chasing them around trying to get back her last egg. Will she kill everyone single one of them before getting it back?

So the plot isn't much better than Eaten Alive, which I ripped into because of lack of plot. However, even though it is simple, I thought it worked for this movie. Crocodile is a true creature feature because the crocodile is doing all the killing and we are given a reason for it. A much better reason then having the people at the wrong place at the wrong time. Speaking of the people in this film, I thought that acting was very good. Not stand out great but it was much better than I had figured it would be. The other characters were played by D.W. Reiser, Julie Mertz, Rhett Jordan and Greg Wayne. Harris Young plays the Sheriff who, at first, is very hard on our main cast of characters and then tries to help them once he knows what is going on.

The effects happen to be a mixed bag. I really loved them at first but at times they really fell apart. The crocodile is a mix of CGI and mechanicle. Both looked great in places and both looked really bad in other places. For the most part, the killings are shown in quick shots that let you see what is happening but not long enough to tell that it isn't really happening. To me, the best kill scenes were when the crocodile suddenly appears, very quickly grabs its pray and disappears just as quick. What made it bad is when the crocodile had to interact with the actors. Basicly it turned into a snapping jaw at that point and some of the CGI was so, so bad. At one point they show this 20 foot (also read in some reviews it was 30 foot but I'm pretty sure they said 20 foot in the movie) crocodile jump over a boat and land nose first into the water on the other side. I could be wrong but I don't think they were that deep in the water at the time for it to do that. Even if they were, it looked very silly and stupid.

There was also the fact that Duncan gets his leg chewed on but you can just barely tell it after they make their escape. They push him around and he is complaining the whole time while spraying himself with bug spray. At first that annoyed me but then I thought, you know I could see someone becoming fixated on something like that when really scared. Then it made me laugh for some unknown reason. Outside of these things, I liked Crocodile so much that I was throwing the idea around of giving it a 4 rating until the bad scenes I talked about started in and it draged me back down a little. It is much better then Eaten Alive but not as good as Lake Placide. It falls into the middle of those two films and in the middle of my ratings system. Having said that, I was surprised at the number of reviews that really ripped into Crocodile. Most gave it a 1 rating with a few 2 ratings. There are a handful of ratings above that but not very many. I'm in the minority as far as liking this film so if you find that you agree with me on most of my reviews then I would check this one out.
3 out of 5 CGI crocodiles not eating the real dog

Good Eaten

Once again I am watching a movie by Tobe Hooper (with another one waiting in the wings). I almost made this film and my next a double feature type review but decided I only felt like sitting through one movie today. Of course this movie helped me decide that after I had watched it. Eaten Alive (1977) was the follow up film to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Don't worry, I'm not compairing the two. That would be a bad idea since they are completely different films and besides, every film should be viewed for what it is, not what it is compared to other movies.

Eaten Alive starts with Buck (Robert Englund) trying to get it on with a hooker but she isn't going for it. Since she turned him down, Miss Hattie (Carolyn Jones) kicks her out of the house she is running and sends her to the Starlight Motel. When the owner of the motel, Judd (Neville Brand), figures out she is from the 'whore house', he attacks her. I couldn't figure out if he was trying to have sex with her at first or trying to kill her. Either way, Judd eventually hits her with something that looked like a pitchfork but it was curved instead. This doesn't kill her though. He picks her up and dumps her off the side of the porch where a waiting crocodile gobbles her up. A little later in the film, dad and sister come looking for her. Will they be gobbled up by the crocodile as well?

Sorry to gloss over the plot. There is very little of it in Eaten Alive. There is also very little as far as effects go. Some blood here and there. A scythe in the throat which did look cool at first but they lingered on it for to long. The longer they showed it the easier it was to tell the actor was simply holding it to his throat. Then there is the croc. It looked cool just catching it swimming around once in a while. It looked very big. It fell apart though when they showed the croc actually attacking someone. It was pretty easy to tell that it was made from rubber at those times. The first death by crocodile wasn't seen, only heard. Maybe they should have kept it at that and shown very quick glances at someone in its jaws.

The acting was actually fairly decent. Neville Brand does a nice job playing a crazy guy that obviously has problems with women and probably sex. Only problem I had is he is talking to a woman that he ties up and mumbles through most of it so was never really sure what he was saying durring this. Probably some explaination as to why he was doing everything but I didn't really care by then. It is always nice to see a pre-Freddy Robert Englund. He has a better southern accent in this movie then he did in 2001 Maniacs, go figure. If you don't know, Carolyn Jones played the orginal Morticia. Also in the cast are Mel Ferrer, Marilyn Burns (the final girl from Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Kyle Richards (Lindsey in Halloween), Janus Blythe and William Finley.

Finley and Burns (along with Richards as their daughter) play a very odd couple. Burns shows up with a bad wig on which she eventually takes off and Finley acts about as crazy as Brand does. No explaining why these thing happened but they did. If I'm right, this is the first movie I have seen Burns in outside of Texas Chainsaw Massacre so that was a nice treat. I can see why she didn't do to many movies though since in back to back movies she was attacked and tied up by crazy people. It was also nice to see Richards in another role as well. She didn't do a whole lot though except watch her dog get eaten by the croc and hide under the motel and scream for the most part.

I didn't enjoy Eaten Alive as a movie to well though. It was great seeing some of the actors in another movie but they could have picked better movie to have signed on to. Just goes to show that even though there are people you like in a movie, that won't make it a favorite of yours. My main problem with Eaten Alive is the utter lack of plot. This is a day in the life of Judd more than anything. I have watched other movies close to this but at least they offered more plot. There was a nice side story that could have been explored more with the couple I was talking about before this paragraph but it went no where. The dad looking for his run away daughter, with her sisters help, was nice side plot but we already knew what happened to her so it was just a matter of seeing if Judd would kill them as well.

Another thing that didn't go over to well with me was Judd's primary weapon of choice. Didn't he have anything smaller than a scythe laying around somewhere? It was pretty bad watching him run around after people in the motel with a scythe. You can't really swing it in a motel. Not that anyone put up a fight however. When watching the trailer they made it clear they were trying to get people that watched Jaws to come see this movie. That, and the title of this movie Eaten Alive, is something of a bait and switch though. This is actually more of a slasher movie then a killer animal movie. Yes the killer animal is there but it is just a means to get rid of bodies basicly. It was a good title for the movie since most people were eaten alive.

Would you stay at the same motel that your daughter's dog just got ate by a crocodile? That didn't make to much sense to me. I wouldn't suggest this movie to very many people. If you are big into Tobe Hopper films or maybe like fake looking crocodiles then this one sure is for you.
2 out of 5 Rubber croc's eating real dogs

A Fun Time Had By All

I had heard some good things about today's movie. It is directed by Tobe Hooper and if you are a horror fan then you already know what else he has directed. Tobe's horror movies are hit and miss with fans. The Texas Chainsaw Mascre and Poltergeist were big hits for him and then you have the remake of The Toolbox Murders that didn't go over to well. The Funhouse (1981) seems to fall into both camps for fans. There are some people that hated it and some that loved it.

The story centers around Amy (Elizabeth Berridge). She is going to the carnival on a double date. Her boyfriend Buzz (Cooper Huckabee), Liz (Largo Woodruff) and Richie (Miles Chapin). Her dad doesn't want her to go to the carnival because the bodies of two young girls was found there the year before so she lies to him and tells him that they are going to a movie and then later lies again by saying she is spending the night at Liz's house. After exploring the carnival, riding the rides and seeing the attractions, Richie gets an idea! "Lets spend the night in the funhouse," he says. Once inside and the carney closes down for the night, we find our couples making out until they hear a noise. Below them they see the palm reader Madame Zena (Sylvia Miles) being paid to have sex with someone in a Frankenstein mask. After getting a little excited, it finishes before it ever starts and she tries to leave only to be strangled to death. Our couples decide it is best to try and leave but every door they come to is locked. After while they settle down where they were before and see that the funhouse barker (Kevin Conway) has come in and talks to this guy in the mask and discovers the dead body. Turns out the guy mask is the barker's son. The mask comes off and we see this guy is more of a monster than a human. The barker discovers that someone is in the funhouse with them and orders his son to go kill them. Will our couples survive or be picked off one by one?



Outside of the monster, there are very little effects to speak of. I was somewhat surprised there is very little blood in this movie. Not that it is a bad thing, just surprising. The effects were done by Rick Baker who has done a ton of movies. The monster looks neat and all but I think I would have liked it better if it looked more human. Demons, and stuff like that, it's all scary but we know human's are real so it seems to add more to it when the killer is human. I enjoyed the acting. Not to much was over the top and our couples were pretty convincing. Elizabeth Berridge would have been around 18 when the film was being made (acording to her birthday and when the film was released) but she looks younger than that so was suprised when she took off her bath robe and had a nude scene.

The people that didn't like this movie to well complaimed about one thing the most. Well some complained about a lot of things but this one point always showed up. There is a very long set up period before the killings start. Over half the movie is setting up the end. I didn't mind this at all. The fairs/carnivals I have been to are nothing like what was shown in this movie so it was something of a treat to me. I don't want to tell to much more about the movie so will let you discover what makes the carnival in this movie different.

Speaking of the end of the movie, I won't give it away or anything but it was easy to figure out how it was going to end once Amy finds her way into the last room. If you watch horror movies, or any movies for that matter, you will notice that the director will linger on an object a little longer than normal and often times that is so you will notice it for when it comes into play later on. That was the case here in The Funhouse ending.

Tobe Hooper also pays a little homage to other movies at the start of The Funhouse. Amy's brother puts on a mask and we get a camera angle seeing thing through the mask. Amy is in the shower by now and her brother comes in with a knife and.....well I think you can guess what happens. Would anyone like to take a guess at which two movies these scenes play homage to? No prizes if you guess right but you can always pat yourself on the back!

I think this is one movie everyone should check out that is into horror movies. Some things were a little disappointing like a noticable lack of blood at times and, for some, the long set up time. I was also disappointed there there were no real big scares. That is hard to do for me though so maybe I shouldn't say that. There are a lot of jump scares which I was expecting to be since it takes place in a carnival and funhouse. What made it fun for me was the carnival and the "keep it simple" plot. I didn't notice any big plot holes anywhere. There could have been but I didn't notice if there are any. The Funhouse is well worth checking out if you can handle the things I have talked about here.
4 out of 5 Funhouse surprises

Fading Into Nothing

When I started to watch today's movie, I had no idea what to expect for it. I had never heard of Fade To Black (1980) but the blurb about it sounded interesting. After watching it and reading only a couple of reviews for it, I think this one is a real love it or hate it movie for horror fans. I used to hear how horror movies are bad for people because they give people idea's and not always good idea's. I can see that happening but it only happens with a small part of people and I don't believe in getting rid of something because of that. It is like saying no one should be able to eat seafood because some people happen to be allergic to it. You will soon see why I have brought all this up so lets go see what today's movie was about, shall we?

In Fade To Black we are introduced to Eric Binford (Dennis Christopher). Eric is a major film geek. Eric sits around watching movies a lot and collects movie memorabilia. Durring the day he has a job as a runner for a place that destributes movies. Eric comes across as very shy, don't see him talk a whole lot and when he does it us usally about movie triva. He seems likable but I can also see how he would become very annoying which is how other characters in the movie seem to relate to him. Eric lives with his Aunt Stella (Eve Brent). Stella lives mostly to just yell at Eric and blame him for her not being able to walk. We find out much later in the film that she is actually his mother but had never told him that.

One day, Eric spots Marilyn O'Connor (Linda Kerridge) who happens to look a lot like Marilyn Monroe. Eric stares at her in a creepy way while day dreaming about her singing happy birthday to him while all decked out like Marilyn Monroe. He makes his way over to her and starts to talk to her. Marilyn's friend doesn't seem to like Eric but Mariyln does and asks if Eric will give her a lift and take her to her job. They talk on the way there and she agrees to go out with him to a movie. Mariyln almost forgets and is a couple of hours late getting there. Eric has already left, thinking he got stood up. While waiting for a bus he comes across a hooker who isn't all that nice to him. We can slowly feel his grip on reality slipping. What happens when he loses his grip completely? What happens when he not only admires the characters in movies but also becomes them?

If you are looking for scares or gore then this movie isn't for you. There is very little as far as effects go. Instead, the movie relies heavily of acting. The only character that comes across as likable is Marilyn and she wasn't used enough. All the other characters come across as mean spirited (except Eric until he becomes crazy) and I think they did this to help show why Eric is the way he is. This was a big thing for more than one person that wrote up a review but even though I didn't like Eric, I understood him on some level. I think we can in some way. We all get lonely and throw ourselves into something in order not to feel so alone even though we still are. We don't do this has heavily as Eric does but I understood what he was doing. Dennis Christopher does a great job with his role, so does Linda Kerridge.

Tim Thomerson's character is a police psychiatrist who is sniffing drugs. After being caught doing this by a female cop (Gwynne Gilford), they end up in bed together (huh?). This is where the movie kind of fell apart to me, the police side of the story. This part of the story almost feels more like a filler then an actual story. Through these characters we are droped some information about Eric we didn't know from Eric himself, like his aunt actually being his mother. These two seem to want to help Eric, although Tim's character kind of does it in a more direct manner than he should have. The rest of the police force seems to want to take Eric out more than try and help him.

A mark of a truely great horror movie is that it manages to scare as well as entertain. Fade To Black did keep my interest all through the movie so it did entertain me but there are no scares to be found. I think someone who even scares easy would have a bit of a hard time being scared by this one. There are some jump scares here and there but even those had no effect on me. What I did like was the plot. If I remember my history about things going under attack because of the violence it was supposed to get people to commit, horror movies turn was in the late 80's and early 90's. I'm sure it has been around ever since horror movies but this is when it became and even bigger issue. Since this came out in 1980, it feels a bit ahead of its time to me. It also takes it up to the next extreme. We always hear about murders that copy those in movies but here Eric isn't doing that, he is becoming characters from movies and then goes out and kills people. As I said before, people seemed to love it or hate it, give it a look and decide for yourself. Not one of my greats but one that I loved to watch. Oh, if you are heavy into the old black and white movies you will also find this movie interesting. It is filled with clips and triva about them.
4 out of 5 Celluloid killers